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Home »» Dialogues

Things I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S.


By Ahmed Allali
 
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I wish someone told me not to get off the car when stopped by a cop as a sign of respect for them.

 

I wish someone told me not to pick up random kids in the park and kiss them on the cheeks like we do on Morocco without being considered psychos.

 

I wish someone told me that I would have to call two weeks in advance to get together with friends and neighbors

 

I wish someone told me what was inside hot dogs before I ate them.

 

I wish someone told me a doctor’s visit without insurance can cost up to $2,000.00

 

I wish someone told me that my late payments on credit cards would put a black mark on my credit report for a long time.

 

I wish someone told me I would feel lonely most of the time, even if I am amongs thousands of people.

 

I wish someone told me not to just get an education, but get an education in the right field.

 

So what did you wish someone told you before you came to the U.S?







 
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kwoolr : Ahmed,

I think some moroccans wish that someone in Morocco told them what rednecks were before half the haragas ended up marrying one and then marrying into their insane redneck families.( i feel so sorry when i see a poor Moroccan all tied up in a family that has to mow their grass to find major appliances


I think some moroccans wish they spent less on their clothes and more on retirement after living here 5 years.

I think some moroccans wish they would have kept in better contact with the people back home, especially when they calm down and want to get married and haven't talked to anyone in 5 years.

Um. I wish someone would tell moroccans before they come here to stay away from bad people with bad habits so they do not get all messed up with the wrong people. If your new best friend knows all the ladies nights in town and offers to take you RUN

I wish someone would tell the moroccans that tell you they are Spanish when you go out that being Moroccan is so much cooler than being Spanish and if your name is Mustafa, mike or miguel doesn't suit your face khouya..hahahah
 
ImaneI : I wish someone told me how much it really costs international students to study here.

I wish someone would have told me get your BS at home and come as graduate student instead of undergrad.

I had been trying to pass this message in Morocco so they can avoid what I went through BUT no one would believe me... It is hard for people back home to grasp the American system unless they come and live here for a while!


The other side of it is:

Would you have believed if someone told you .. before you came here?
 
norafena : This is such an interesting issue. You reminded my "tales" from when I first moved to the US, the most hilarious one is when "...Someone mentioned to me that the pepperoni pizza that I was eating has pork on it, I took it back to the store and went off on the manager-with my broken accent-for adding pork to my pepperoni pizza, my logic was that pepperoni comes from peppers, so why the pizza had pork instead" :)

The most important part of this issue, is how can we help the newcomers to avoid our mistakes? I always think of starting an agency (physical or online) to provide advice, support and help to the newcomers. Most importantly to teach them about their rights and the laws in this country. I met several moroccans who are taking advantage of, by another Moroccan who is usually a family member.

I recently met a young woman whose uncle is using her as a maid/babysitter almost a "slave" on return of her tiny cold room and unnutritional meals.

I am devastated by stories like this...
So I would like to discuss further with all members here their suggestions on helping the new lost Moroccan in this country.

To wafin's moderators: How about if we add a new page to this site, that handles exclusively the issues of newcomers.

Thank you Mr. Allali for raising these concerns.
Regards,

Norafena
 
kawkaw : I Wish someone told me how my moroccan adviser would abuse me once he got me here. I wish someone told me that as an international student you have no rights, that they can cut your assistanship any time with no reasons, that you cannot fight the system even If the law says it's you right. I wish someone told me that you have to fight for the CPT, OPT, H1 visa...I wish someone told me that with no credit history you cannot even buy a cell phone.....
 
Kaoutar : I wish someone had told me to dress casually when going out for a dinner with friends, instead of getting all dressed up the way we do it back home.

I wish someone had told me that giving a hug is OK but giving a kiss can come as a surprise.

I wish someone had told me not to insist when someone said no when I offered tea and cookies

I wish someone had told me that there was was nothing wrong with paying your own bill and not worrying about the others when hanging out with friends.

I wish someone had told me that it was not politically correct to call someone a "peasant" or a "Red Indian" even when you did not mean to say anything bad about that person.

I wish someone had told me that I was supposed to help out while staying with friends, and not to expect to be waited on

Most importantly I wish someone had told me to keep a good share of my critical mind at home and to refrain from voicing my opinion about just about everything.

 
karen28 : Asalaam Alaikum,

I wish someone had told you that the "GRASS IN NOT GREENER"
on the other side!

I wish someone had told you, for every one trying to get out, someone is trying to get in.

I wish someone had told you before you went that this is the greatest country. and if you men keep running away to marry away......who is going to marry our women?

I wish someone had told you that, while you are away Morocco is thriving.

I wish someone told you ...you can always come home...insha'allah.
 
PACCO01 : I wish someone would of told me to work hard save money for a while and get out of this country before i get stuck in the American system of bills and......
 
batma : I wish somebody told me how materialistic life is in here.
 
mostafa4321 : this is a subject that hit home so hard. I am so glad that we finally summoned our courage and started talking about this. All the anecdotes mentioned in this article or what other member added are so brutally true. I wish somebody told me that trying to strike a friendship with Moroccan from a different region of morocco will be so blinded by regionalism and steal form you . I am so disgusted how Moroccan here try to exploit other new comers out what they have so precious in life . their humanity. all the other races help each other and back each other to start businesses to get into new ventures except us. all we do and see how we can be better than the others and envy any one who achieved and prospered . I thought that the Moroccan in the usa are somewhat of an elite section of migrants( educated and wise) I was hit right smack on my face when reality settled . compared to our Moroccans in France and Europe, we are far from being united and helpful.

I do support a section in Wafin to help our new brothers who are completely lost ideologically and emptied emotionally by betrayal, lies exploitation. let us change change ,change and be like the Indians , Pakistanis , Iranians , Lebanese

thanks
 
iwish : yes!! i wish someone told me before i came to the us that
i have to work hard for little money to pay off my bills

i wish someone told that there is no access to medical treatment unless you wait several hours and pay a huge bill

i wish someone told that i will face all kind of abuses and discriminations

i wish someone told that with a degree or certificate there is no guarantee for job

i wish someone told that with my looking i m considered as terrorist until further notice

i wish someone told that even with my citizenship i have to struggle to bring my wife

yes i wish someone told before...

yes there is no better place like home
 
yaj454s : I was schocked to read all these pessimistic views regarding life in the US. Is everyone Ok? It seems like many are complaining about bills, culture, cost of living, and stuff. The greatest country in the world is not perfect. However, we have to agree that living is the US is much better that other places, especially hardship countries such as Morocco. Unless, one comes from a wealthy Moroccan family, where the money keeps flowing in and there is no need to work, I cannot see how one could say that life here is hard..This is capitalism at best. This is not France...This is not a land for laziness, welfare..The truth is you gotta work for it to make it happen..The United States offers more opportunities for success than most places...At least here, in case of an emergency, one will be seen at the hospital and receive treatment utilizing the latest technologies. In Morocco, any real emergency lead to a sure death..Won't you rather pay $$$ than dying because there are no gloves, or the equipment doesn't work or got stolen by a greedy doctor as it happens in Morocco..Come on guys...get real.
 
thefalcons : Wow. Did any anyone ever told you what �min lhmara ltiyara means�?
But hey, now that you�re here try to make the best out of it. and try not to look at kids in the parks is but news. If I were u.. I will stay away from the parks all together:)

Good luck.
 
Aminefes : I wish someone had encouraged me to stay close to the masjid at the very first days of my inception in the New World.

I wish someone had shined the light on the fact that what really matters the most in the US, and for that matter in our entire lives, is not what initially had enticed us at the local bar or club, or perhaps that blondie with silky hair strolling down the road, but what really counts is to keep a good score with All Mighty, only to discover that this country is where a one can find their utter happiness while not compromising my profound principles.

Salam,
Amine,
guru111@bigfoot.com
 
al3ajab1 : nice!
 
le bougnoule : I wish someone had told me that perception is not reality. I wish someone had told me that my heart would change when leaving home behind. I wish someone had told me that "it will be tough, but have courage". I wish someone had told me "it's sad that youthful talent like you has to leave the place of its birth". I wish..."you will see a lot of fascinating things, but stay close to your heart". I wish someone had told me "be well".

It's true that living in the U.S or canada :-) is challenging. We have to learn new ways and stay away for the pitfalls. However, it is still a better opportunity than a lot of other places. Everyday is a new opportunity to make good. I say this knowing it's hard for certain individuals since every case is unique. Have courage and stay close to your heart. Remember why you moved in the first place and use that positively.

Maybe it's better that no one told me anything before I left. Salam
 
messaou72 : Come on guys! why are you looking at only bad things. No one is perfect. You gotta realize that you are lucky to be here. We as foreigners have better chances here than anywhere else. I used to live in France prior to coming to the US, and let me tell you, I've never suffered from discrimination like I did in France. It was hard for me to get a decent job, you have to provide a resume with your picture and date of birth and nationality!!!. This is ridiculous. I came to the US and I never had a problem with me being "middle eastern" or "arab" or "terrorist". I just got a job as a GM in one of the major hotel chains and I went through management training, and let me tell you, when it comes to discrimination they are very serious, they have all kinds of laws that prohibit discrimination as long as you are "legal". As a minority here I feel protected and cared for. Some of you don't even talk about discrimination in our own country Morocco (Chelh, Aarbi, Sahraoui, Rifi, ...etc) so why are complaining about it here?
 
youssef74 : thank you so much mostapha4321, yaj454 & aminefes. Well said.
I rather work and pay my bills in this country than spend the best part of life hanging around coffee shops back home and waiting for mom to give me 10dh.
Get your acts together people. Nobody promised anyone of us a silver platter before we made a decision to leave out PRECIOUS Morocco.
How can anyone be so naive and thinks that it's easy to make on a foreign land, foreign culture, and foreign language. be real!! we didn't make it even back among our families and friends otherwise we wouldn't be talking about this.

Most of us if not 99% of us wouldn't have a chance to fly if it wasn't about coming here.
Most of us wouldn't have a chance to learn English etc

Cut the crap people,we left Morocco because we couldn't find jobs and now we complain because we missed our lazy lives back then!!

The ones that aren't happy here can always make things better by;
1.Hard work
2.dedication
3.PATIENCE
4.sacrifice
etc

You can't sit on your behind all day and expect things to get better of a sudden unless you hit the jack pot.

You can't expect to work for few dollars, starve yourself all year and then spend your saving on a meaningless trip to lebled to impress others.

You avoid all Moroccans, and you complain of loneliness.

I always advised people to scarify few years and go to school, and the majority are cheap and all they want is buy a house back home, and fly in every chance they get to Morocco. after 5y, they are still struggling.
It's never too late people, stop crying and get your acts together.
Unite for God's sake and make things easier;for yourselves, New people who are leaving Morocco to join us, and your kids 10y from today.

One can't blame others for not telling about life in the State. We all had to go through hardships, good and bad experiences, and I hope that we learn from them. or, did we expect to come to this country and leave for free without paying bills?

Moroccan guys, be men and grow up.....and stop crying like babies...
 
sousou34 : hello everybody, I see most articles drope on one way, pessimism, anyway, I WISH somebody told me if you want to succeed in the States, never ask a Moroccan for an advice. I wish somebody told me go live in a state where there no arabs or moroccans, you will feel that you live in the states. not in Casablanca. The best place to leave in the world is the United States, I been around the world, and I can tell, you guys stop complaining, don't you see how many positive sides, you only pick on the bad staff, in compare to a worst ones in our country. in America there is no place for lazy people, or pessimistic ones, so get up and work hard, and you will cultivate the results.
 
meroutre : 
I wish somebody told me not to accept guests from Morocco that want to immigrate in my home for more than a week.

 
azakari : This is the price to pay for cultural changes. Once agrees to leave home, one has to accept he may encounter few things in this "new world".
You should not be ashamed of what you were not told at home. Because, most the people who know/understand the " American culture" well enough live here.
I agree with one of the members, there is some "pessimism" among few people who have commented on the topic. However, hard life is , here, there are opportunities one may never dream of at home.
As physician , ( here), we all had to go through that ( i wish...).

The idea of creating website, mainly through wafin team is great. That may allow all "newcomers" to learn few basics how to live and embrace the culture.
Great topic I must add
 
leila_m : Here are a couple more I would like to add for those wishing to immigrate to the U.S.

1. American streets are not paved in gold
2. Domestic violence is a crime, which can lead to deportation.
3. Not all Americans are rich.
4. Most employers do not give time off easily.
5. Never tell an American women they are over weight.
6. Americans are more apt to believe a person who looks them in the eyes while talking to them.
7. Americans eat out often, as most of us are too busy to cook.
8. Stop the car at crosswalks to allow people to cross the street.
9. Most Citizens use crosswalks to cross the street, otherwise it is considered J walking in most cities.
10. Littering can get you a heavy fine if you are caught by the police.
11. Never offer a police officer a bribe, or you may end up with another offense.
12. If you get a ticket your car insurance can go up.
13. If you are in an accident your car insurance can increase or be canceled, due to No-Fault. Check with your local insurance carrier.
14. Everyone pays taxes out of their paychecks to the government.
15. Hitting your child is not legal, and you can be charged with a crime.
16. Depending on which state you live in determines the age of 16, or 18. Engaging in sexual contact with a minor is a crime.
17. Porn sites can be traced, and lead to investigations.
18. Raising children in the USA is very expensive.
19. Child support is mandatory for the absent parent to pay the parent that has custody of the child or children.
20. Being controlling or dominating may be considered domestic violence.
21. Not allow your spouse access to money can also be considered domestic violence.
22. Most Americans believe in sharing the chores, including men help with household duties, such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, etc......unless the other partner is not working.
23. Americans speak to the opposite sex, and engage in friendships at work, in the neighborhood, and other places, without the consent of their partner.
24. If you drop something breakable in the store, you may end up paying for it.
25. Marijuana is not legal in the USA, unless it is prescribed for an illness.
 
walde_fedala : I wish someone told me that hamburger doesn’t have ham instead keep ordering hamburger without ham and confusing the cashier.
I wish someone told me don’t pay for school with your credit cards.
I wish someone told me to get an internship in big company before you finish school.
I wish someone told me you should pick people that you can help. Because some Moroccan’s don’t appreciate help.
I wish someone told that with a degree or certificate there is no guarantee for job.
I wish someone told that if you are shy you are not cool guy.

 
kawkaw : Hey guys, for those of you who consider some comments as pessimism, it is not like that, not all of those who came to this country specially in the last years found a job and got their green card or their citizenship and are living happily ever after.. There are other people who once here were disappointed with the system, found many obstacles and are still struggling everyday, it is not easy to live in this country If you are still "international", a student who has to pay huge amount of fees each semester and then has to find a job to get his H1 visa and so many other problems.. Living in this country is much easier If you have your green card or your citizenship you are then considered as an american and you have all the rights that allow you to live better than anywhere in the world. So please do not criticize people without considering their situation, this topic is not a critic for this country, it is about sharing some of the experiences and telling about what one should have known before coming here to make his life in this country easier..
 
ibn battuta : I wish someone has told me our leaders are powerless.
I wish Bush invaded Switzerland.
I wish Morocco was in Asia.
I wish it was 75 degrees year round.
I wish the US was an island.
I wish Mecca and Medina was not under the rule of house of Saud.
I wish our leaders ruled for no more than 10 years.
 
sean74 : i wish someone told me that education is very important , but the past was the past , but now i decide to be something and give something to america like what kennedy said in her address : " what american citizen give to America not America give to americans citizen" America give green card to came here i should give her something of my skills , here makyn la rachwa wala walo contry of hakk if you work hard you get the promotion and success .
 
flower : Well said and resumed Mr Youssef 74 and Messaou 72. Complaining bieng here and kotna kimoto bi bled...!!!!!
 
chouaiboo15 : I think it is too late to complain about all of this. That's it you are here and that's how their country is. It is their culture and we are not going to make them change it. At least they are more conservative than the europeens and they are proud of their culture, unlike us in morocco where our culture and traditions are being lost day after day to the french one(everyone speaks french plus the chouha dial studio 2m look for it in dailymotion).We all came here looking for one thing either education or money or both. So let's do whatever we came here for and move forward instead of complaining about their culture or way of life.
 
loubloub : very nice.
I wish that someone told me that you are going to feel lonely even when you are with people.
I wish we all care about each other for the future.
 
Wafine13 : WHY ARE WE PUTTING THE BLAME ON SOEMONE ELSE!!!!!! IT’S ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE’S FAULT ISN’T IT?
I WISH PEOPLE TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS!!!!!!! Nobody forces you to do anything you don’t want to do. Before you came here, you didn't wanna hear that it's not easy living in the US cuz you thought that the person (especially a family member) giving you advice doesn’t want to come here and succeed.

Why don’t you be responsible and take care of your finances (it doesn’t take a genious to figure it out). If you make $200/week, don’t go spending $300/week. I mean....I know lot of guys that rather starve and wear a goddman $160 NIKE PAIR OF SHOES!!! why you ask? cuz they wann impress people!!…Why don’t you think before you rack up bills on your credit card!!!!!!!! Who did you think was going to pay your goddamn bill.
If you rack-up bills on your credit card why is it SOMEONE ELSES’ fault?

For once, I like to hear someone admit their mistakes…….but noooooooooooo!!!! We don’t do that. All you hear us say is: nobody told me this nobody told me that.

It all starts with each person taking responsibility! If you are unsure of something the best and easiest way is to learn about it before you put yourself in the hole!!!!!
As far as cultural things you learn by adapting.
Good luck going forward!!!!!
Peace.
 
hrquibi : Good discussion guys. I really feel sorry for those who went through difficult times coming to this land and discovering the land of opportunities.

I totally understand that starting over in another country is difficult and challenging. But like anything else in life, you have to have a plan and not one plan but 2 and maybe 3. So if plan A doesn't work you go to backup plan (plan B)... I really think that all these problems that people go through are life learning lessons that you get to learn from while you are working on building your life and achieving the American dream in your new country. It's having those mistakes that would make you a good money spender, a good time manager, a good friends picker...in a nutshell a good decision maker...etc

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. So my advise to all new comers is to do your homework, get some planning done like what is it like to live in a new country such as America? what is the cost of living? what is the culture like?... Just like anything else in life, you always have to prepare and plan. So before you do anything that is as serious as starting over in another country, people need to take a pencil and piece of paper and draw two columns in a spreadsheet format. The top of each column you write down "+" and "-" sign. This way you can write what you think you will gain from the US (+) and what you might loose in leaving Morocco "-". Life is about cost opportunity, you gain something because you lost something.

For example, coming to the US, you gain a good education, a good career, and a house, but the cost of those gains are significants as the losses, such as missing my parents turning grey, missing my brothers and sisters growing up and becoming responsible citizens, friends that we went to high school with, and maybe a good minted cup of tea that you won't find anywhere.

Perseverance, hard work, and patience will take you as far as you want to go.

Thanks
Hassab
 
kassi : You chose to come here,you choose to live here.if you don't like it here,you still have a choice to leave this country.it is what it is.
 
adnani_sara : well said!!! come on what are we crying about here???????? would you prefer to be in Morocco? some people are just too spoiled i would say,yes you have the right to complain but about real things, not why i can't pick a random kid at the park and give him a kiss...it's just diferent cultures, imagine if American went to Morocco, i think they are the ones that will be really shocked! we all came here to pursuit a dream, and here more than anywhere else you can achieve your goals sooner or later, if u really want to, if you want to cry about your "bad luck" (which i dont believe in) then another 30 million people back home are doing the same! i came here when i was 17 as an international, and i did find a waitress job, i took risks, i worked hard (my dad only paid for my tution) and did all i could, i graduated, looked for a job, finaly found one that would sponsor me, and here i am! it was hard and still is, but i did it and am proud of me and have no reason to blame this country or its people for what i went through! i learned a lot and dont wish any one had told me anything!
 
ibn battuta : It is unfortunate that some of the comments posted were racist. Those comments tell you more about the poster rather the subject being commented on, i.e. Arabs, Moroccans.
Some wishes were way off the chart though, but never lose hope. If there is any place where you can succeed it is not France, it is here in the US. I also would like to point something out to some of you people, and you know who you are, when we criticize America, especially its abhorrent foreign policy we are in effect blaming a hanfful who are in control of the government, we are not against everyday Americans. We work with each other, we live next to each other, in some cases we marry too but a distinction must be made between individuals and decision makers at the government level.
That's all the wisdom I have for you tonight, enjoy it while you can.
 
hicham10 : Wonderful subject, fruitful comments, and if I may remind my self and my fellow moroccans(mankind) to always pray to Allah before you will be prayed on. You guys are awesome!
 
salaheddinedriss : I am telling you NOW brothers and sisters,
We are all here because what we've endured...enough said!
To all of you new comers, this is the land of opportunity BUT you have to have a plan and a drive.
Take some English courses before coming here, or pick up "English in 90 days" book like i did, learn about the culture and where your destination as the internet makes it possible now adays. Make "DAMN SURE" that the people you're gonna be living with are dependable and earnest and won't take you for the ride of your life. Spend your money wisely as it won't last forever, don't shy away from your Moroccan brothers and sisters as the more people you know the more opportunities you'll get, be the best Moroccan out there and cast a positive shadow on your country and earn people's respect and have a good reputation where ever you go.
And on top of this, tawakal aala Allah!
 
senkoory : Man the turn this discussion has taken! Correct me if I’m wrong but Ahmed was asking for ways to pass the knowledge from past experiences to the newcomers in order to eliminate the shock factor and/or embarrassing moments. Let me remind you that this country is not as great as some of us make it sound and Morocco is not as awful as some made it sound. I have being stabbed in the back by many people I’ve helped Moroccans and others, but I didn’t give up I will continue to help people for as long as I live. We have to continue to help each other regardless of the bad element we may encounter. It would also help to establish as many Moroccan Associations and Organizations as possible.

Sean 74, my guess is you have not being here long enough to see things clearly. RACHWA is all around my friend. Open your eyes and your mind and you will see it, or you can just turn your TV on.

Aminefes, you are right about living within close proximity to the masjid. It helps keep your sanity too.

DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF (BEING A MOROCCAN) THAT’S WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL.

I wish someone told me despite of hard work, dedication, PATIENCE, sacrifice you may end up hitting the glass ceiling.

Thanks
Keep the faith may Allah bless us all.
 
zinedine : Even if someone told me that almasaajid (mosques) in Canada don't have minarets and the Ad'aan on speakers is not permitted, I will still come here & settle down in what I believe it to be the greatest country in the world (my personal opinion) you don't have to agree... I will never forget that day I was arrested & taken to a police station in the middle of Ramadan 1980. I was only 16 years old with a group of regular Moroccans not Islamists not terrorists just for going to pray Salaat Alfajr with my 14 year old friend from the ..hood. Our crime was that we went to the masjid at dawn; picked up by Alwashma as we call it. Our time wasted and we were let go because Driss Lbassri objective was achieved: Fear & intimidation..I have been going to different mosques to pray in the week ends in Canada for 17 years and had never been stopped by a policeman! My point is if you are to choose between what bad for you and what's worse for you, common sense is choose what's bad for you. I would rather be culturally uprooted in the diaspora than be mentally & physically terrorised in my homeland!

Zinedine
 
ahmed in la : PACCO01,
actually someone told me, 19 years ago, to make my money and get the hell out; I did not listen.
kwoolr,
there is nothing wrong with having an engine hanging from a tree in someone�s backyard. Moroccans have their own rednecks too.
leila_m,
I agree with most of what you mentioned, but could you please reconsider the marijuana ban!
Porn sites do not usually get investigated because they are protected by some freedoms. Reviewing child pornography sites could be investigated and be subject to prosecution.
Hitting your child could be legal if it is within reasonable disciplinary guidelines and not being excessive.
On the other hand, it would be hard for me to marry such an enlightened person such as yourself. I would never do dishes. Just kidding.
walde_fedala,
acytualy, hamburgers might contain a percentage of pork ground with the beef! Who would stop them from adding it in?
ibn battuta,
if you lived in L.A., you just might wear shorts and sandals all year long!

Some of the mistakes I personally made:
Dropping out of law school in 85. (Morocco).
Leaving computer programming school in 86. (Morocco).
Thinking that papers will come sooner or later. (It took 9 years).
That I could drive as recklessly as I would in Morocco. (Traffic fines suck).
Thinking that I was limited in my capacities and abilities.
Thinking that discrimination can hold me down.
Thinking that American women were no different than Moroccan ones. (TI9 BIA).
That real estate prices in Morocco will always stay low.
Hanging out at the coffee shop with a bunch of retirees instead of getting a trucker�s license.
Thinking that the last woman I dated was going to be better than the one before or the first one. If you believe in the �Same Scoop Theory�.
If women meant NO, it is YES and that if they meant YES, it was NO, and if they meant YES it is YES and if they meant NO, it was NO.
That it is early for some things and that it was too late for others.
That I had not taken a nice a** Mercedes back home, before the outrageous tariffs were added in the mid-90s.

Despite all, I�m grateful for what I have accomplished and I thank the lord for what I have. More is better but contentment is a blessing. I walk, eat, see, hear, breed,... and talk everyday, HAMDOULLAH.

H�MEIDA OULED LA.
 
Salamoon : There is no use crying over split milk, this is the land of endless opportunities:
It's never too late to pursue your education.Some people graduated in their eighties, just to graduate.
You are never too old to get married or remarried be it lady or gent, not like back home if you are over30 they nickname you.
It's never too late to pick and choose the people who would not take advantage of you.
It's never too late to make your dream come true" If you can think it you can make it"
It's never too late to work hard and make up for the lost time.
There is a big prize we all pay one way or another when we leave our beloved Morocco, but isn't it worth the sacrifice, others back home would give their arm in Morocco in exchange of your misery in The US. It sure is all about blind capitalism, but if you work smart, you could have your peace of the pie and eat it too.
But it is high time we all took responsibility for our mistakes, and stop blaming the others. Wouldn't it have sounded better if the sentence went as follows: I wish I was as wise as I'am today to know not to make such and such mistake, but I did learn from it any way, now I know better where to set my foot and time to move forward.
In this life in general it's never too late to hid where the sun shines every day, but brothers and sisters, it would be so so so very late for us to do any good deeds when our life is over, then we won't be able to say:I wish some one told me so" Wala tazigho wazighaton wisra okhra" That means no one will take responsibility for the others actions, and that's the wisdom of the Quran.
Allah yekoon fi aoun jamia Almuslimine in this life and the after, it is hard for all of us but whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Peace to all.
Wafinorama
 
nazy : I wish that someone told me that USA and Canada are good for poeple from grade 11 and under.
I wish that someone will tell our moroccans back-home that Morocco is a great country: free education, health services...WITHOUT HAVING ALL MOROCCANS PAYING TAXES.
To the one who think there is no RACHWA just open ur eyes and ears,RACHWA is everywhere here and Bush himself is taking something around 800,000.00/year.
Go look for a job not even a career, and they will ask you for references, if you have theme from inside the company you will be hired.
I wish that someone will do a good marketing for Morocco, so all the great moroccans can go back and help the moroccans acheive their dreams.
Hard work, dedication, patience and sacrifice why should I do theme here? To pay more taxes? Noooooooooooooooooooooooo I got a free education from Morocco and I am going back there to work harder.
 
simova : Salam,
all i wish is if i knew many things to succeed faster and effectively. But most importantly, i want to comment on the person who said to never ask a moroccan for advice that he/she is so wrong; you need to know who to ask first. And believe brother or sister, we offer a lot of help including conventions all over the United States to help moroccans in particular. as an advice from me (you can ignore it), ask you fellow moroccans for advices and help; but just like you pick and choose good friends, pick the right advisor.
Regards,
Melrharraz@yahoo.com
 
twins : I agree with most comments here. America, Love it or leave it. This is what I was told long time ago when I started showing attitude. It is so funny how we can forget the negative things about Morocco and the bad habits we learned there. We feel the nostalgy and we remember only the best memories of our life there. In Morocco, people are not all friendly. In Morocco people are users and manipulateur. They are hypocrit too. Whithin our same race we have descrimination. In Morocco I was always asked (bint men Ntia) whose Daughter you are?!. I always replyed "I am the dauther of My mother and father. Go figure which answer you have to say to deserve some respect.

I love being here, and I am glad I made the decision the leave Morocco and come here. I should of made it long time ago.

I think to make it here, you really have to forget about how nice we are in Morocco and how friendly the neighbours are. It is not even true. In big cities like rabat, Casa, Agadir etc., neighbours do not even knwo each other (just like here).


I will appreciate some feed back from people who feel this way. mon e-mail is mes_jumelles@yahoo.com

Just hang in there USA is not that bad!! Bonne Chance
 
Mouh : I wish our American friends around here would write about the things they wish someone told them before they went to Morocco for the first time.

Having the flipside experiences will undoubtedly help put somewhat of a perspective on what has been our common "vecu" as newcomers to this great land.
 
ybaidani : I am a student here. I could easily clame that I went throught all problems possible that every single moroccan went throught when he first come here. however, i do believe that these problems are so normal when I think about how individual we are in this country compared to other societies. then, I just keep on going.
the issue of this subject is not the problems that we face when we first come to the US, or how much knowledge did we have back home before we decide on flying here. the issue is how do we deal with them. Moroccans have problem of sacrificing. that is a social probelm we brought with us from back home. for example, if we ask any moroccan about what does it take (on dollars) for him to give up a nice night out with friends instead of working a double on a shift in a restaurant, the answer will most likely be more than $300, which means that the price of sacrificing is so high. Compared to other societies, we are the laziest people that ever come to the US. why? it is because of our background unfortunately. Also, we all know that we live in an individual society back home (kolha yajri 3la rasso)therefore, the question of i wish i knew does not make sense here because it will never be heard from somebody else. finally, bash man tawalsh, as soon as we realise that we cannot make it if we stay individual, then, we will all have to go throught these problems.
 
ibn battuta : I read all the comments to the article. I sensed a lot of resentment from most of the posts towards fellow Moroccans. It is sad how the mentality of some will direct them to say things like "I don't wanna live near Arabs(l3rab) What the hell are you, Scandinavian? Instead of being racist, you can simply shun those you don't like and befriend the ones you do like. But to paint with a broad brush and generalize it is stereotyping at its best. Some of you people complain about descrimination, but if you take the time to read through the comments you will find a lot of comments to be crude and vulgar. There is a also hostility towards fellow Moroccans that is unbelievable.
I live in a small community in Eastern North Carolina. There are 5 Arabs in the whole area. I miss meeting my fellow countrymen. I look forward to seeing them whenever I make a trip to a big city.
So people, and you know who you are, get off your high horse and don't be fooled into thinking that speaking Arabic will make you less sophisticated, or dressing a certain way will make distinguishable, or driving an expensive car will make you superior. Material things don't impress me much.
That's all the wisdom I have for you tonight, enjoy while you can.
 
belladonna : Well, ladies and gentleman.... you wanted America?
That's what you get baby!!!!!
After staying over 1 year, in different periods and states, i can say: i totally hate American's point of view!
 
howajaydir : Salam All,

An interesting topic ..!! It does make a bit of a change from those usual "Knee-Bending" Wizart Elkharijiya Press briefings!!!! :-))..

Now a lil observation, the pic that actually appeares on the page is of only males... U see, I m for equal genders�rights..even if it s for something as trivial as WISH-ful-thinking.. LoL..!!.. Mesyo Allali, let�s just hope that The Moroccan Khemmashat Front don t NAIL u on that one ;-) Outchhh LoL..

I have to confess though, after reading a few doom and gloom comments, I cann t help but wondering if I happen to be dropped in some annual convention for "Wimps Alliance For Impulsive Negativity " , WAFIN for short ;-)))
I m sure there re a few genuine cases, and I mean very few.. so, as Moroccans, let s just get something straight and stop those wishful-thinkers taking us all for a ride with those DMI3AT ELGHOLA...!!!

I WISH u remember the day they stamped that Yankee Visa on that scary avocado passport... How excited u were, remember!!??..!! It was like an overdose of El Dorado... which can only be matched with a high from an elephant trank like joint of a double zero Ketama Brown gold... ;-).. how u asked Oulad Edderb to all have a drink on u..and of course they all went for 3assir Belouz as it was a luxury then....and coz u loved the sound of them saying after a few burps..Awwwahhh...Rak ghadi El Merikan..!! And How before u put that big butt on the plane, u never stopped thinking about that BIG CAR and that BIG House and even those BIG Bonldy boobs...!! and u made sure u spread ur American gospel to Elghadi Olmaji and even the poor Bel3id moul Ezzeri3a wasn t spared ...
I just WISHED u didn t put that filter on those excited ears... and ignored or pretented to never heard those who rang the bells of reality to u that now u seem to put out of existance...!!
So, just becoz now ur El Dorado tunred El DoraDURE, u expect the rest of us to symphatise with those crocodile drops..!!?? I rest my case
 
usasf99 : My two cents to the discussion:
Why people are so pessimistic and negative about being in the US? Is it because you failed to accumulate that million of Dollars quickly and easily as you thought before coming here? Is it because you failed to integrate with the society (don't get me wrong here, you still can integrate while preserving your cultural background)? Is it because you bought that Luxury car and couldn't keep up with the payment? Etc�..

I wish someone told me not to get off the car when stopped by a cop as a sign of respect for them. Not sure about the respect thing but this country is full of armed people and having someone get off their car puts the life of the officer in danger. Hey, I think is a luxury that a cop comes to you while you are enjoying your favorite beverage away from the snow, heat, rain. Why do you have to go walk to "chef" who tries to convince you not to pay 400.00 MAD to the government and better donate 100.00MAD to "chef's" villa construction fund?

I wish someone told me not to pick up random kids in the park and kiss them on the cheeks like we do on Morocco without being considered psychos.

Why the hell approaching my kid? This country had a lot of perverts and predators and staying away is a precaution only. Nothing personal! Do we know how many predators we have in Morocco? Do we know how many respected people in the society get little high school girls into their cars in daylight to fulfill their fantasies for a meager sum of money? Probably not.

I wish someone told me that I would have to call two weeks in advance to get together with friends and neighbors.
This is an exaggeration but true to some extend: people are busy with their lives, need to plan it right and I personally am a supporter of the idea: We will meet when we both want to and have time, not when you are free!

I wish someone told me what was inside hot dogs before I ate them.
I wish someone told me what inside some Moroccan "Saucisses" made from real dogs and hot spices = hot dogs!!! (true story from Sidi Moumen, Casablanca)

I wish someone told me a doctor�s visit without insurance can cost up to $2,000.00
Healthcare without insurance, in Moroccan private clinics is expensive as well, unless you have the courage and life expectancy to wait for an appointment in a dirty public hospital where sterilization is a rare thing. Stay away from Casa and Rabat and check our hospitals to get an idea on how people come with flu like symptoms and end up loosing their testicles! I m sure you ll change your mind

I wish someone told me that my late payments on credit cards would put a black mark on my credit report for a long time.

This is an easy one: shred those damn credit cards? Did you have em in Morocco? Live within your means and try to stay with good debt only. Change your habits!

I wish someone told me I would feel lonely most of the time, even if I am amongst thousands of people.
Integration, integration, integration! you ve got people from all around the world, a unique opportunity. You can even select your mates by religion, hobbies, activities, etc...

I wish someone told me not to just get an education, but get an education in the right field.
Do you think it's easier to switch careers in Morocco? Try to switch from history major to business? Good luck trying to meet "Doyen", ooops, "Monsieur le Doyen", you soon will realize that it's almost impossible to speak to someone.

I m a Moroccan with friends who were beaten by Riot Police or Compagnie Mobile d'Intervention (CMI a.k.a SIMI in Darija), because they hold a PhD and claim their constitutional right to have a job ???!!!


So what did you wish someone told you before you came to the U.S?
I m in love and very attached to my ancestors' country, Morocco, and will keep it that way. One the other hand, I m very grateful to God that I settled in this welcoming country. Each country has its perks and downside. And there is no perfect place in the world. My advice is to take advantage of thousands of opportunities this GREAT NATION (and I mean it) has to offer, be active, start with self-criticism, cleanse your mind from selfishness and laziness, keep fighting, get inspired from some top achievers (some came to this country with $8 in their pockets)�. And if you don't like the show, change the channel: move back and help build Morocco of the 21st century until you get what you wished for.
 
truth8701 : I wish someone would have told me (american) that there were no Super Wal-Mart's in Morocco.

I wish i was told that its very hard to find an american style toilet with toilet paper.

1 wish i was told that you have to go thru so much red tape to get a marriage cert.

I wish i was told that Morocco has not caught up with the rest of the world concerning technology. I haven't seen a Olympic type writer since 1980's.

I wish i was told that the driving in Morocco is absolutley hamaka!!! horse and carriage, donkey,mopeds,goats,and people are on the city roads.

I wish i was told about my dinner guest that i had while dinning at a cafe i didn't know chicken's and cats are welcomed to(LOL)

I wish i was told that it's ok to throw your trash on the streets.

I wish i was told that 6-7 people can pile up in taxi with no seat belts and air conditioner (LOL)

I wish i was told that you can't find nail shops around on every corner to get your feet done coz where my family lives there are no sidewalks just sandy streets and a sistah's feet needed attention (LOL)

I wish someone told me that you just can't go up the street to the nearest KFC (kentuckey fried chicken) to pick up dinner if you didn't want to cook that night. Being a women in Morocco is hard work!!! A high 5 to all the Moroccan women!!

I could go on and on but we must all accept and understand that your life is what you make it. Being in Morocco was an eye opener for me. At first my view was I can't live here it's not cozy and convient like America I can't just jump in my car and go to the Mall etc...what i learned is that you have to look at the good not what we call the so-called bad. If i can go from living in America to living in Morocco
and adjust and accept what I call just pure CRAZINESS!! YOU can put up with "great ol US of A"

One more thing...to all of you Morocaan's here in America I think it is your duty to go back and help your Country make a change for the better. First start with the "man in the mirror".

PEACE AND LOVE



 
TOKYO : I WISH I REMENBERED
"ZWAJ LILA TADBIROU 3AM"
I WISH THEY TOLD ME THAT CHILDREN FOR GREEN CARD IS BAD TRADE.
I WISH THEY TOLD ME THAT $5OOO CONDOM IS CHEAPER THAN 18 YEARS OF PAYMENTS.
 
reda123 : I wish someone had told me to eat so much cheese cake from the cheesecake factory to be disgusted in order not to miss it so much!

I wish someone had told me to get a huge loan, buy couple of condos (in late 90s) sell them in early 2000 and make 300% on them in the greater Boston area... then get the F out to Morocco with the money.. .then do the same in Morocco!

For all of you out there, been back in Morocco for coupe of years, it ain't half as pink as it was in the US. Wherever you go, you will find crap. Might as well get used to it, and look at the brighter side. Otherwise, you will be full of negative energy and won't do sh*# with your life.
 
cathy : i would say to them,just stay home, don't come to lose every thing................and the American dream is a lie,try to built the Moroccan dream
i would say ,you will be never considered as an American even you got the citizenship,i would say to them a lot of things......i would say its not worthy to wait in along line front of the American embassy in Casablanca
 
kwoolr : Belladonna, please know that America is a big place and their are Americans who will love and embrace you and be there for you.

Here is my daughter by the way, she is Moroccan

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?instanceid=79865532

I was really badly hurt by a Moroccan and a couple of others nailed my soul to the wall as well. I was a little too eager, a little too lonely and made some really stupid decisions that shattered my self esteem and life. I know what it feels like for everyone to leave you alone. It happened to me and I am raising a Moroccan daughter with no dad and even though he could show her to his family and he pays child support he refuses to give her one shot at having an extended family. I have had others bring my past to my face and just slaughter me emotionally. People can be very cruel not knowing the shoes you walk in Belladonna. That goes for Moroccans, Americans , Anyone. Please do not think all Americans have a crappy point of view or won't like and be there for you. You have to be willing to stick your hand out and talk to people. You have to be willing to go to schools and offer to talk about Morocco to classses or donate a Moroccan dish to a high school teachers lounge. To make friends with Americans, Belladonna, you have to be a friend. Don't you think that after a couple of people hurt me and I got dumped I wanted to paint everyone from your country with a bad brush? Do you realise how hard it really is to smile and look for the good. I want you to try to do that with Americans , Belladonna. Give them a chance. Be a friend to them. But you are going to have to face prejudices, pain , some heartache. But the rewards you could gain are enormous. Sure I am embarassed of making mistakes. There is not a day goes by that I am not embarassed of the choices I made in this life. But for the good of my daughter I have to forgive myself, for drinking, for partying, for being irresponsible. I made big mistakes. But I will tell you, there is alot of love out there in the US to find from American people.. There are alot of people who will love and accept them. You will just have to face the pain of the people who do not and look for understanding and compassionate Americans with a global view.
Cheers
zahrasmommy@aol.com
 
kwoolr : Cathy , the American dream is not a lie. But you have to embrace all parts of American life, not just money and profit. Everything is your attitude. How you treat Americans. If you donate to American causes. If you become part of the community and give back, etc. The American Dream is not a lie. The American Dream is there for you. But it is not a hollow place. You have to share yourself selflessly and little by little the beauty of this melting pot of so many cultures will reveal itself . You can be from the poorest city in Morocco, from the worst situation and if you work hard, you can be something here. You can build a life, build an identity and make new friends. But no one will hand this to you. They did not hand this to my great grandparents when they arrived hungry from Ireland with nothing more than their clothes on their backs. It took them 3 generations of working hard, dedicating themselves to their kids and their community. The dream is there..you need to find it on your own terms.But you have to be a giver not a taker and see life as the glass half full

kat
 
prince@ : Everyone is wishing to be advised for what’s coming. No matter how much u knew about this country, and no matter how many advises u got once u arrived to this land, u would’ve still made mistakes, its part of life, that’s what I call having an experience.

I heard many things about the States before I came, but as most Moroccans back home, I had selective hearing, I choose to only hear the positive things, and ignore the rest.

Having said that, I which I finished my undergraduate program back home, and pursue my masters in the US, I was half way done in college back home, I dropped everything to come here and start over, paying whole lot of money, where I could’ve taken the same courses for free in Morocco.

So to all the people back home that are thinking to study in the US. Finish your undergrad back home since it’s free or cheaper than hear, then you can come to the States for your Master, it is much easier to get an assistantship “La bourse” in fact most international students get financial assistance during their Masters.

To all the people that are thinking of going back home, no matter how much Morocco changes, it is still good for the rich, and not so much for the poor. I suppose this is true even in the US, but at least here, we have a better chance to build a good future for us and our families.

Good Bless u all, I’m out and about,
midouusa@yahoo.fr
 
younesdenver : i wish someone told me it`s a lots better the bladi.which i spent 26 years,without better life.26 years without job.26 years my dream was to get married,26 years to have a kids.26 years to have a nice familly.26 years to buy a house.26 years to have a 2 cars.all these,i got it in america. not in my bl;adi morocco. be honest with your self,don`t lie to it. which life is better;morocco or americcccccccccccccccccccca.
 
hector : Ahmed!

Most moving article on the web, ever. Best comments. My adorable Morrocans! I have seldom laughed so much; and I cried too. I laughed at the glorifications of the American Way of Life which we all believed, and then found out that glorifications and realities are not the same department. And I cried for all of you whose spiritual gentleness, adorableness, divine nature clashed against the material brutality. As one European film director (not even someone with the sensitivity of a Moroccan)once said, "When you come to America you have to give up your soul". Not to God, though...

I wish someone had told me about the soul question, before I came, and that the sense of proximity to life and to others did not exist. That a father calls his three year old son, "Hey bud!". That it is relationships at a distance. Then I would have thought, "Is that what they have over there? But what you have described to me is called "hell"!

Mes amis, je vous aime.











 
hicham741 : To my fellow Moroccan : HOWAJAYDIR

Can you please drop me an email @ hichamarabi@yahoo.com!

To my borthers and sisters who are pessimistic about the US, life here can be harsh on newcomers and those who were not lucky enough to have some support when they first arrive. Certain mistakes can cost not only $$$ but few years of your life trying to make up for them....but after all, you have more chances to make it here than back home. A green card and then US passport through a lottery does not entitle you to prosperity in this land. You bust your butt working smart to make it (working hard does not cut it here). I have been here for over 10 years now and the first 4 years were simply sh%^. I count my blessings and thanks that Visa officer who stamps my passport for a student visa 10 years ago.

If I have to do it over again, I will do it. It was worth it.
Regards,
Hicham Arabi
 
fofo : I really enjoyed reading your comments, guys! Some of them just reminded me of feelings I�ve personally experienced. What I came up with is that we just can�t change the past, but instead we can draw lessons from it, and learn how to avoid our previous mistakes rather than being haunted by them.
Most of us haven�t been adequately prepared- especially in emotional sense- to hit the road of the American dream long journey, which cause a great deal of confusion, anxiety, frustration, and anger. The new world is not all that beautiful picture we have painted in our mind- in some cases others have done the painting for us-. The yoghurt wasn�t a 1$ for 5liter-bucket , and I couldn�t make $8,000 for just being a cashier, as I�ve been told back home. Having said that, I�m still considering myself very lucky to be given the opportunity to live in this country. Because, in the end of the day, when I look back to the endless humiliation Moroccans are shouldering I find myself should be very thankful being here. Fellow Moroccans, best and brightest, keep in mind � alkana3a kanzon la yafna�
May ALLAH accept all of us in his Jannat al firdaws�Amen.
 
najibam : Najiba
Salamo aliquome
Yes I agree with most of the brothers and sisters. There is no place like home.
I wish someone told me that I am going a hard time raising my kids on Islam in tnis country even being close to the Masjid.

I wish someone told me that the environment in no Moslim country can be a barriere to teach Arabic and Islam to your kids.

I am ready to give up all American dream to be able to raise my daughters on Islam in Morocco.

Salamo aliquome
 
SouMarocIl : Extremely interesting subject.

I believe that life is not always hard but not always easy either.
I do not blame anyone for telling me or not telling me that life is challenging in USA or at Home.
But freedom and independence have a price.
We learn from our mistake and go forward.
I learned from America that you can always start new life, new career that is never too late to start over.
I learned from America that I am responsible from my success and happiness and I am also responsible of my failure and shortcoming .
But is never too late to start over
I learned from America to be hopeful again and again.


SouMaroc


 
yabbad2001 : We have to whine don’t we? The good news is that Morocco is still there, ! My advice to every whiner is to pack and go back to our beloved Morocco, but I’m sure once you are there you will go on and on about the bad decision you’ve made and how you should have stayed in USA..etc. Mmm but I’m sure you will not be brave enough to do that, just remember lemkadem :) BTW I'm an MBA student and I have bunch of loans and problems, but still thank God and appreciate this country..I miss family and friends that's about it.

Salam a tt le monde, and thanks Allali for pointing the issue.
 
Aminefes :  I wish someone had warned me about not squandering my hard-earned money on 'La Royal Air Maroc'. I have an interesting; yet a quit common question (I am almost sure), that I'd like some one of my follow Moroccans to answer. Is it only me that was giving a crappy service during my last two trips with 'La Ram'? Or are there others who had to undergo the utter rudeness of the Moroccan flight crew, not to mention lost luggage. I am taking my money somewhere else next time. That's for sure... I swimming instead.. :)
guru111@bigfoot.com
 
simo87 : I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S I will be respected regardless of my social status.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S getting a driver liscence does not require me to bribe someone.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S there is a law of the land.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S the streets are clean and cops are there to protect you, not to intimidate you.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S going to school and working a full time job is part of growing up.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S that people look aragant on the surface, but once you get to know them they arethe most wonderful people on the planet.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S that it’s OK to wear shorts and sandals. It’s ok no one cares. This is truly a free country.
I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S that “if you can dream it you can do it” Walt Disney. I dear anyone who can tell me we should not believe in our dream.

“Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work” Thomas Edison

“The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called Failure, a loop called Confusion, speed bumps called Friends, red lights called Enemies, caution lights called Family. You will have flats called Jobs. But, if you have a spare called Determination, an engine called Perseverance, insurance called Faith, a driver called God, you will make it to a place called Success”



 
TICKLE27 : Wow great topic , i love the idea about creating somehting for the new immigrants.
i think that may actually help.and you know i couldn't help but notice a lots of negativity in this article and i think that we will be better moroccans once and we will help each other in the future if we stop feeling bad for ourselves,
that's the ky to it forget about what happened in the past it was a good lesson but let's not let someone else do the same mistake.
 
cn8cw : At the least we can wish..!!!!!??????
 
tilt36 : I wish I had been told that dying standing on my feet is lot better and manly than living on my knees.

I wish I had been told that if america is a good place for me to live in,at least to question the sources of the wealth they are making available for me( blood money, weapon sales and the list goes on).

I wish I had been told that America stands for the good man I thought was generous and gave me all the money and the jobs and the house I own were all stolen from my brothers and sisters and some poor helpless folks from some remote land.

I wish I was told that American mentality is based on results and outcome, getting there is what matters, even if it takes stepping on poor old people, stabbing people on their back. Good faithfull intentions Don't pay as much. You can mean good but you might not be rewarded.

I wish I was told that standing up for the good issues might bring me some misery as well as some reproaches from some good people; but nevertheless ignorant ones, and that I should stay the course and accept the hardship but never regret or give up.

I wish I was told That America is just fat woman that has inherited her fate and that morocco is just a poor starved man that went through lot of hardship.

I wish I was told that before giving a lip service advice to a brother I should first try to be a part of his life or at least contribute to a positive change in his life.

I wish I was told That moroccan girls are not as cheap as many brothers try to potray them to be, but that they are only exploring other possibilities where they can be recognized and well cherished, and that the challenge falls on the brothers who did not succeed in meeting the expectations of the sisters. It is the demand and supply formula. ( no cat runs away from dar al3arss) ( al3arss= wedding fiesta, applies to where food is of abundance).





 
reallycare : Actually someone did already. When I went to get a visa before I came to the state the officer told me that I really don't buy the bullsh-t you are feeding me but I am going to go ahead and give you a visa anyway. JUST REMEMBER, Morocco needs you more than the US!!!! for some reason I cannot get that out of my heard through all these years and so I am going back to do something to help Morocco. Who wants to join???
 
stoun : This country is a great country no matter how bad are the experiences that some of you had.
For those of you who plan to go back after making lots of money. I promise that you are not going anywhere. The more you stay here the less likely you are going back. This country is addictive even if you hate it.
If you really want to go back, then set a date. Like tell yourself: I will go back on August 1st, 2008...for good.
If you keep saying I will go back soon, then it's never going to happen.
Overall, The US is way better than Morocco. If you want to go back you will need a lot of will power.
You will need to be able to give up a lot of good things here...like paying your bills online, not putting a picture on your resume, and the fact that you are innocent till proven guilty. (In morocco, you are guilty till proven innocent)
 
ibn battuta : I am surprised about the number of comments that were posted. I am sure my next topic, if the Wafin team publishes it, will spark a lot of reaction. Thanks Wafin in advance for posting my article.
 
demha : I wish I never asked any Moroccan what I have to do in such situation.
Ahmed from Boston
 
meriem23 : hello everybody!! iam a new immigrant,iam a dv green card winner, to be honest with you, people here have shocked me , they are so pesimistic. the states is not hard as people think but it needs hard work, the problem is that in Morocco they didn't teach us what is the value of time, we were wasting our time goin' nothing intrestin', even at school even at university, none knows what does "time is money " means.
Thanks a lot for all the informations your wrote on this page, i hope to meet moroccans from the states and talk to them live on msn to know more things about the life in usa cuz im gona be there in a few months inshallah.
Good luck everybody :)
 
maghribiwife : Salam Everyone,
I have read most of all your comments. Some of you have real complaints and some of you are just whinning or maybe just very neive.
I am not Moroccan, but I am married to one. I think you should all be PROUD of your hertiage and your country. It is a beautiful place with wonderful people.
But like many of you say, life here is very different. You have to adapt or go home. Anyone wishing to come here should learn about America before making the journey. It is no one responsibilty to learn for you.
Stay away from credit cards, stay close to the masjid, and men dont marry moroccan women and bring them here expecting them to stay the same as back home. Did you stay the same? I think not! I have seen many marriages fail because you men think you can be different but your wives must remain the same. Get real! My husband for one said he would never have married a moroccan women because they change for the worse when you bring them here.
Raise your children to be proud to be moroccan. Get them their moroccan citizenship as there is value to it.
maghribiwife
 
pchambers : What an absolutely fascinating discussion. I am an American who joined Wafin because I was deeply touched by your country when I first visited in 2005 and wanted to connect with Moroccans in America. Your perspectives in this thread have been very interesting and I have learned a lot about Morocco from your comments. I am also impressed and amazed by all of the difficulty you have gone through in coming here and adjusting to America. It takes a lot of courage to make such a huge transition. Anyone who leaves one country for another must go through these kinds of hardships and I take my hat off to all of you for your courage and endurance--especially since I came back from my trip to Morocco thinking, "Wow, these countries could hardly be more different."

When I got back to the US after my first trip to Morocco, I reflected on how extremely different this country must look to a Moroccan, especially to a very religious Moroccan. So, building on the current discussion topic, let me ask you. When you see people walking around in shorts, do they look naked to you? When you see women functioning as equals in society, having careers, being judges and lawmakers, doing whatever they want, do you find that offensive or does it just look really wierd? When you see sleek, well-fed dogs and cats being stroked and treated like family members, does it look ridiculous to you? When you go shopping and see only mass-produced items, do you wonder where all the handmade goods are? When you moved into your first home or apartment, did you feel kind of "exposed" because American homes have so many windows and are so much more visible from the street than traditional Moroccan homes? When you experience the freedom of American society for the first time, how does it feel? It is pleasant and exciting, or strange and scary?

Mouh asked, "I wish our American friends around here would write about the things they wish someone told them before they went to Morocco for the first time." I wish someone had told me (and would now please tell me) why shopkeepers in Marrakesh think that if they are aggressive and obnoxious with me, I will buy their stuff. Are they that way with everyone or just with Western-looking tourists? What I can say to them to get them to back off and be nice? I wish someone had told me, on the other hand, how beautiful and gracious the Moroccan people can be, and that as a result of making friends in Morocco, I would have to go visit again because nobody there can afford to visit me here (I am going for 2 weeks in October). I wish someone had told me how wierd it would feel to know that I am viewed very differently just because I am a woman, and must dress and behave in special ways in order to look like a respectable woman in the eyes of Moroccan men as opposed to a horrible western slut. I didn't mind at the time because I sincerely wished to fit in and show respect for Moroccan culture, but I was only a tourist so it was easy. For 2 weeks I can doanything. Being an actual immigrant to Morocco would be entirely different and much harder.

Which brings me back to my first point--I feel that you Moroccan-Americans deserve a lot of credit for adapting to and dealing with a country that is so very different from your own, in every conceivable way.

 
slayer : the idea of i wish someone told me! is verry interesting.
but i see a problem between poeple who say that the us is hard and some say no it is better!, the truth is the us is better but not that magical, it makes me happy to find in this website moroccans who can be well civilized cause i wish someone told me be4 i came here that i will meet low class moroccans that i wouldnt meet in morocco even some of them used to sell tomato in the floor and for that reason they wer racist against me just because i was from an upper midle class familly,i wish someone told me that i would go to jail because my wife beat me up,i wish someone told me not to like egyptians and their movies because i found out that the hate our guts and jalous of us they should be proud to have us as arabs we are outstanding we speak many languages and we fit amoungs others, someone from senegal told my wife after she said that me her huband come from casablanca, he said that to him casa is the europe of africa, so why cant the smelly arabs reconize, will i hear girls telling me that egyptians critisize us for having a king and we speak french and stupid stuff wich makes poeple just even more inerested in us. at last i wish someone told me when i came to america i need to speak spanish!!1
 
kitty123 : Hey stop complaining big boy. This is America not Europe...you must learn and live the American experience or go back to Morocco.
 
brando03 : Someone should have tould you not to go!Canada,Europe(right at your doorstep!)Australia,etc...NOT America!Whatever you complaining about,Americans complain also but about different things.Just to make a point...i saw on the Oprah Winfrey show that in the US 30 milj.people live in poverty and another 30 milj.also who have jobs!We here in Europe don't have such numbers.But if your intention is to stay then follow this rule's
Educate yourself learn Everething become an american try to understand them otherwise you wil be lost there!...do not critisize americans even in friendly conversations,afteral your the immigrant who came frome a third world country to this 'GREAT NATION'.
Sallaam Aleik
Greetings from a sun of a immigrant.
 
Dopey : Hi everybody,

I don't think this topic and it's post were meant to be funny, but I had a blast reading it! Making my mom frowning my way everytime I burst out laughing at my screen.

Being the daughter of an immigrant who left his country in the sixties to try his luck in Europe I can imagine what it is like for you people, but I can't say I can relate to your problems. But nevertheless I'd like to drop my 2 cents in this discussion.

Being born and raised in Europe I've learned to deal with two cultures at the same time, but that doesn't make it easy. It's acctually hard if you look at the many problems the Moroccan youth are facing nowadays in Europe. Problems that I imagine could have been avoided if wholly atleast partially had their parents been aware of the change of culture and society in which they were raising their children. The Moroccan youth in Europe has started to create it's own culture. Not feeling European nor Moroccan enough. Wherever they go they are not wholly respected. In Europe they are Moroccans and in Morocco they are "s7ab el kharij". When they are in Europe they pride themselves in being Moroccans and when they are in Morocco they are proud of living in Europe. They have to struggle to be accepted and some of them just mess up big time, not only for themselves but also for fellow Moroccans.

All that I'm trying to say is don't think only of yourselves. Think of your children. You have chosen to move to an other country, a whole other world. But your children won't have that choice. They will be born and raised in a Moroccan family and at the same time in a world that is not even close to Morocco. You have to realise that the US, just like Europe has it's own history, culture, values and morals. Which don't always goes with yours. If you can't deal with it now, don't expect you children will. Look and learn from the mistakes of the European-Moroccans and try to do better.

Cheers!

 
expatrie : thank you brother for this great article
but we are wrong to say i wish someone......
we rather say '' we would like to beleive someone who told me ....cuz even we heard about it worse or better , we had to come and descover it as it is !!! best ot worst than we thought.
 
cazawii : yes there is no better place like home but really we cant come back there -ma blad ma walo-
 
dilane : Very funny!I wish if somebody told me having kids in US it's not like back home,I wish if somebody told me how much cost the daycare in US before having kids.
 
whereto2008 : I wish someone told me that years becomes days .I wish they told me dont drink and dont smoke ,your health is your future not your bank account,I wish they told me dont buy a car ,it cost money to drive,I wish they told me dont send money back home./././././././.
 
Fatima Zahra : To Mouh: I agree there should be a list of things to expect when going to Morocco for for the first time lol.
I myself am Canadian but my husband is Moroccan and will be arrivng here shortly Inshallah.
I lived in morocco for nearly 1 year and I could name a hundred things I wish I had of known.
I actually came up with the 10 Rules Of Morocco while I was there.
The one thing I wish I was told is that you should always have a silver DH in your pocket in case you gotta pee lol
I remember I was at the Rabat bus station and I had no clue. I had to pay? I mean seriously? Well the older lady siting at her table made sure I knew about it as she started to yell at me in Arabic lol.
After nearly a year living there in the mountains I caught on quick though and blended in.
I found this site just by chance and I must say I am a bit worried though when my husband comes.
I know things are going to be very different from what he is use to and I want to make it as easy as possible for him to adjust.
I will be going back to live in Morocco in a few weeks until the summer while we await for his visa, but this time things are different..... I know the rules and will always carry a silver DH in my pocket lol.
 
Medsmen : Salam fellow brothers and sisters,
Very interesting topic...
I lived in the states for over 14 yrs and I must say that you learn a lot. I worked all sorts of jobs, from delivery to pizza maker...I also went to school than grad school and alhamdullah things are better.
What I wish someone told me before I came to the U.S.:
- Not to worry too much about what people think
- Not to think six times before saying what you have to say (more than once, what you have to contribute is very important, and you're doing yourself and everyone a disservice if you don't bring it up).
- Not to ever give up school for the sake of making some quick cash
- To only focus on tip paying jobs while in school instead of working hourly
(risk reward is way better with tips then on hourly wages)
- To be as open to helping Moroccans regardless of the number of times they hurt you... this can be done by helping without expecting anything in return.
- To ask for things even though you know there could be a NO answer, as the worst thing that can happen is NO not possible, this applies to discounts, salary...
- to always strike conversation with anyone out there, and to do good at any occasion you come across , as you never know what's coming your way.
- To always act as an amabassador i.e. best example for your country.
- to help fellow Moroccans, by sharing thoughts, ideas, advice, even if no one asks ... (as our nature may not make it easy to ask for help)...
- To not judge anyone out there as you don t know what is behind their decision making.
- To stay close to your Moroccan community as you never know when you will need their help (boxed and shipped to Morocco).

I hope this helps.
My question for eveyone now is:
Now that you're here, what are the steps you're taking to maximize your stay here, from a self enrichment standpoint, be it monetary, professional, social, religious...
What is everyone's strategy in terms of maximizing your return potential while living in the U.S.
- Are you saving 50% of your salary, buying houses in Morocco/US, creating a company, building an import/export vehicle, maximizing your 401k...
What are you doing to build a future for your kids?
I'd love to get your thoughts.
Thank you.
Best
For Wafin: It would be nice to get a time-stamp next to each entry to know when the article and the comments were last published.

 
maghribi : To sum it all up,it's still the greatest nation on earth!Hard work pays off,it teaches you how to set up your priorities and become somebody.
I wish i came to the united states earlier than i did!27 years later,i couldn't be any happier and in a better place.
 
abdu : You know, I wish that all the people who had negative things to say about living here, GO back to Morocco and live there for a little while. I am almost sure that they will be on the first plane back after the HONEY MOON is over and reality hits home. I love Morocco, but I am sorry to say that anyone who lived here for sometime WILL have a big problem living in Morocco. The US is a great county as long as you integrate with everybody instead of taking the easy way and hanging out with your own. I agree with someone who said that we should help the new comers learn the way of life here. I think Wafin is a great place to start. Instead of all the posts being about Marriage, let's start make an area in Wafin where people post things about how to live here. Wafin administrators help us find a way to make this happen. I am not talking about legal advise, although I am sure there are a lot of Moroccan-American lawyers around who would love to help.

Thanks to everyone for contributing.
 
jazz : o.k dear moroccans,how can we go about creating that association,club,agency,group or whatever we would like to
call;that we would offer advise and some basic help to those
first comers.i did read all the nice talk that we are all good at,i want to see responses from these same people,offering
suggestions.don't hide your head in the sand now!!!you offered
your sweet talk,now offer some solutions.and be prepared to
volonteer at least with your time and experience.
 
Sunset : I wish someone told me not to get off the car when stopped by a cop as a sign of respect for them.

Don’t you prefer the police in the US to the Moroccan police? At least (we hope) you will pay for what you did wrong, not for what you did not do.

I wish someone told me not to pick up random kids in the park and kiss them on the cheeks like we do on Morocco without being considered psychos.

You should not pick up random kids in the park even to kiss or say hi, here or there. Pick and kiss your kids.

I wish someone told me that I would have to call two weeks in advance to get together with friends and neighbors.

I wish they do that too in Morocco. I want to makes sure I am dressed and feel like seeing you before you arrive without letting me know. Privacy is important, for you and for others as well.

I wish someone told me what was inside hot dogs before I ate them.

You thought about it before you ate those hot dogs, but you were probably hungry at that time and did not care. :)

I wish someone told me a doctor’s visit without insurance can cost up to $2,000.00

What were you expecting? Do you get good free care in Morocco?

I wish someone told me that my late payments on credit cards would put a black mark on my credit report for a long time.

Advancing money comes with a “price” and if you do not pay on time, (which at times credit cards companies prefer) you pay a fine. Fair.

I wish someone told me I would feel lonely most of the time, even if I am amongs thousands of people.

That happens here and in there too. Even worse: depressed.

I wish someone told me not to just get an education, but get an education in the right field.

There is no such thing as “right field”. There are fields that seem to be more in demand and you can make more money; those you might not like as much. If your education is whatever it is, is what you thought best at that time and perhaps the one you could afford. Make the best of it, or maybe you can try for a second careers. I did.

So what did you wish someone told you before you came to the U.S?

Nothing, I would not have listened.

Smiles!

 
ouarzazai : this sounds fun!you guys already covered the topic,i can add that i wish somone told me living here is no dream but american greed and moroccan evil breed...!
 
MaghribiTX : I wish someone told you " if you don't like it leave"
 
kamal : I wish we had an education in genetically modified foods and all the health complication that comes from consuming them . i would of never had that apple with monkey genes ,or that potato with pig genes that literally tear your health apart .Eat well ,live well ,the rest is just a challenge you would face anywhere in the world .take time and watch this documentary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgC-SdvyFWI especially if you have kids or planning on having them in this great land ,you ow it to them .cheers
 
tufayyur : interesting article and response.
Alot of worthy statements, however:

I wish that all moroccans living in the US would not be so selfish. I look at other races and cultures helping each other to become successful and I dont find moroccans doing that. A few want to do business but most are greedy.
If several people put together their minds and resources they can create a great business that will end up in far more success.
Im referring to moroccans who have never cooked in their life. They came to new york and opened restaurants spending thousands of dollars only to fail after less than six months.
the one little restaurant that has survived, I dont know how because their food is not moroccan and it is less than a one star restaurant, maybe because these guys want to just hang on steinway street instead of working together to make life easier.
Who do you think you are kidding? Like kwlor states you cannot just come to America looking for everything to be handed to you on a platter.
 
prince@ : Very interesting article. I said the same thing long time ago, after couple years of being in the states. I wish someone told me this or that. The fact of the matter is that I would highly unlikely have listened. However, I just want to write few advises for the new comers inchallah
1.Choose your friends wisely, try to be friends with people that you have things in common, if you’re in school, try to find friend from school or professionals. If you own a business try to have fiends that own a business and so on. Similar interests, background, and goals
2.Learn the language
3.Try to have one of these two goals or both, Education or Own your business
4.Keep contact with Morocco and your family
5.Follow your deen
6.When helping a Moroccan, don’t expect anything in returns, in fact at times expect that you will be bitten in the butt
7.Stop complaining about bills and that in Morocco we don’t have bills or stress. Chances are, you didn’t have responsibility back home, and you spent most of your time chilling. If you had a job, married, kids trust me you would’ve had bills to pay. Try to manage your expenses, and try not to spend most of your money on clothes, new comers tend to do that until they figure out, no one cares who you’re wearing :)
8.Many more but here is my email in case someone wants more advice or have one for me :) midousa007@gmail.com

Peace, Good Luck
 
hamidb : Salam,
before i begin i would just like to say that i don't blame anyone but myself :) and please don't judge anybody's situation as anyone can fall into short comings (we're not perfect).like they say Hindsight is always 20/20.
i wish i knew better than to get married with someone i don't love.
i wish i knew better than to sell myself cheap.
i wish i knew that in the US a step father isn't respected, no matter what you do! whether you pay the bills, rent you name it.
i wish i knew that as an immigrant (legal or not) you'll be a jeffafa and that if you don't stand up for yourself no one will (not even your wife to her kids wakha i3ayrouk....it's your fault 'cause you did something to them :) isn't life funny sometimes).
i wish i knew that an american wife can kick you out for any reason, whether it's the look, tone of your voice or it's PTSD 'cause her previous husband used to beat her.
i wish i knew that as a step father you'll always come last, like seriously my kids, my stuff and then more kids priorities and then maybe you after i'm done being busy.
i wish i knew that without a car in the US, if you're in a state where there's no metro or bus between cities you're kinda stuck!!! (yeaaaaah buddy! Amtrack doesn't have lbidawi)
i wish i knew better than to marry a facebook friend (the funny bits of life)
i wish i knew better than to let myself down!
i wish i knew better than to marry someone who depends on gov assistance.
i wish i knew better than to marry an american wife(even if she's muslim) who can't do things the way our mothers do it (za3ma tbarkellah 3la l7dagga dial lmeghribiat and arab women in general)
i wish i knew that married or not you'll have to cook your 3 meals a day...isn't it amazing!!! the more you know about marriage (well let's not blame it on the institution but rather the choice of partner)
i wish i knew better than to be hot headed and leave a decent job in my country.
i wish i knew the price that i had to pay to have opportunities in the US that i may not have in Morocco.
i wish i knew that before i can get married i could have talked to a lawyer to discuss my options (even 500$ consultation is better than...you_know_what)
i wish i knew better to trust my instinct (and this goes out to all the brothers and sisters) if your heart isn't in it...just don't do it (no matter how hard it is don't forget that Allah has better things lined up for you)
i wish i knew that looking for a wife in the proper channels (masjid, muslim websites) is better than the do it your way.
 
ZeeBo : after reading most of the comments, it just sound like every one here is living in hell! c'mon you made a choice to live in the US if you don't like it, go back to morocco where you can get the msseman or lkhli3 or a "nice" Moroccan wife,
I'm putting "nice" in quotation because i had a disastrous experience trying to marry a woman from morocco, I'm not saying all Moroccan women are bad but they expect from you to help their moms, dads brother and the entire damn family.
here nothing can be handed to you, if you don't work you won't get paid. you want a nice job go to school and get a degree!.
it is very clear how most of the commentator struggle in the US simply by reading their broken English, how do you want to adapt to this lifestyle if you can't speak ENGLISH???
stop whining and get a life!
i wish i didn't meet any Moroccan or Arabs when i came here!
peace
 
sidibe : The only regrets I have about moving to the US; is that I didn’t get here soon enough :)
 
Vidafeliz : I don't believe in the word i wish ! I always say I'm going to do ,to have inchaelah ! I never get into this kind of conversations cus i always end up having a headache, but after i read the comments i wanted to share my own experience as a girl who had a hard time and struggled to choose between living in the usa or morocco . I came to usa for the first time back in 2010 and stayed here for a year , i always had the intention to go back cus I was raised believing that morocco is the best place in the world when it comes to traditions cus we are a muslim society , so after 15 months i went back to morocco for good ! Abracadabra !!! I was chocked cus i started paying attention to things I've never noticed or never been a bother for me in the past( ( ( sexual assault and harassment in the streets by rude men , not enough job opportunities, the majority of people are not polite , crazy drivers , never expect to be served fast and correctly in administrations or public facilities if u don't know someone or give corruption , of course there is no 911 if you life is in danger (who cares about your life anyways ) and every one knows the rest of the long list .........) ) ) i got depressed and couldn't go out even for a walk alone or without big headphones so i wont hear whats going on around me. I figure out that the most happy year in my life was the year i spent here cus i had my peace of mind , so i decided to come back and live here forever ! Its going to be 2 years this coming july since i moved here i have a job ,a home , got my brand new car , good credit and I'm going to school to make my life better , I'm so happy in this society (the only thing I'm missing in morocco is my family and the tasty fruits and veg hhhh ) One more thing! my advice to my moroccan bothers and sisters who are having problem is to work hard a bit more and know how to manage your accounts , don't live cheap , stop complaining about medical bills and get your selves a health insurance instead of saving money to buy houses in morocco (its not even safe with the political issues ) or to spend them on your vacations to invite friend and family out to show off ! I hope i wasn't so boring !
 
iss4m : Salam,
I couldn't help but comment ... Amazing comments, great opinions, valued advises. For someone who just arrived to the US (less than 3 weeks)I am more on the pessimistic side, I guess it would be a bit normal for a new comer. As Moroccans, family means a lot to us, a home to go to, golden friends ... You leave all that behind and you are on a mission to redefine the values and change your vision of life but the hardest thing about the US is how MATERIALISTIC the life is. Being on the quest for a start, a job, a career, a stable road is touch at the beginning ... Life seems to move so fast here, one thing I am sure of (maybe I wish someone told me before I came) is that we Moroccans are unique, every nation is different but we are different - in a way -, I never knew Morocco has such great romance in it.
Never lose of who you are.
Thank you.
 
benzman : hello feloow moroccans

i wish i have met good Moroccan Muslims not just those who once they came here they thought that they're in heaven,i want to mention something very very important is that almost 99% Moroccans or "Moroccan Muslim" are dealing with RIBA and living with it,whenever somebody told you that he or she came here and have Dream job,Nice car,Wonderful home be sure that he or she dealing with Riba and HARAM money that is pure truth for most of Moroccan men and women.
the only thing people have to pay attention to it is that they have to worship Allah and find the right path in this life and ask Allah to give them good kids because if you plane or if you have kids here you pay huge price at the end.

do whatever you want here it is just a test to whoever came to US about the way you live and be prepare for what you going to tell Allah once you meet Him which is any moment.

assalamo alaikom
 
ferkheusa : I wish someone told me that the water in the bathroom toilet, where we sit to shit and pee, is not safe for drinking and cooking.
I wish someone told me to not wear my suit (kostim) when invited to a party.
I wish someone told me to be careful with my teeth in this country. Tooth decay, cancer, obesity is common here.
I wish someone told me to start school as soon as possible so u get the milk abudently in short time.
I wish someone told me that there are spies agents from my country and they are everywhere(in mosques, and ....)
I wish someone told me not to waste my time working jobs that u will regret that u did every time you go to fill an application and you need to mention that job, hahaha you understand???
 
Total Comments:107   Showing: 1-100| Next >>
 
 
 
Dialogues allows Moroccans and friends of Morocco to express their views on any current issue or situation that could spark a discussion among Wafiners. People from all walks of life are encouraged to submit their views. All submissions must be concise, addressed to a broad audience, and written in good, idiomatic English. Submit all articles to info@wafin.com.



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